Hello Gabba, hello world

*March 7, 2012*

I started this blog to help with my emotions throughout not only being a mother, but being a Mommy to a (possible) Autistic/PDD Child. I also started it for Gabriella. So when she gets older, she will be able to read her progress and see on paper, if not already in everyday life, how much Mommy loves her and will fight for her well being.

I am the proud mommy of my beautiful, funny, smart 19 month old daughter, Gabriella. She was born July 21, 2010 after 25 hours of (unmedicated) labor (and 2 weeks past her due date). She was my angel. She is the reason that I have fought so hard for what I believed in when I could have (and maybe SHOULD have) moved back to my hometown instead of living in a homeless shelter for a year in NYC. But I thoroughly believe I made the right choice.
We were in the shelter from the time G was 3 months until she was 15 months. At about 7 months, I started to see "oddities"....arm flapping, blinking wierd, ect. I always kept these little signs in the back of my head, but thought that a lot of the strange things she was doing was because of her environment. We moved out of the shelter and rented a room....the oddities didn't stop. In fact from the time she was 7 months until about 15 months, I saw a LOT of 'off' things she did....spinning constantly, obsessed with strings, babbling but no words, head bunting me when she didn't get her way....LOTS of things. One day, a family friend who has worked with special needs children for the past 2 decades came to me and changed my life.....she said "I think you need to get Gabriella tested for Autism." Heart palpatating starts now. That was when she was 15 months. It took 4 months to get an appointment with a specialist. The Doctor didn't even need to watch G in action. She just needed to talk to me to give the diagnosis of Autism/PDD.
I've been through the crying, mad, pissed off at God, I-can't-handle-this emotions. I've cried and thrown things and could feel my heart breaking through the months of "what if". Now the what if's have turned into "now what do we do". I had my first meeting with Early Intervention last night. And per my coordinator, I have a lot of concerns. Rightfully so. Gabriella is my world, my heart, my soul. The reason I wake up and the reason I work so hard. In simplicity....Gabriella is my ALL. I will do any and everything needed to make sure that she has everything she needs to live a productive, positive life.