It's taken me a few days to get my thoughts together after meeting with the psychological evaluator. I'm still angry, but moreso what irritates me, is when someone says "You can't be angry." The hell I can't. Until you feel these emotions of pure helplessness, hurt, and the worst of wondering if somehow YOU made this happen or YOU could have prevented it, you have NO idea what these feelings are. I am entitled to be angry, mad, and down right pissed off at anyone I want to be right now.
Now luckily, I am not one to take my anger out on people. I turn my anger into a motive for myself. When I found out Gabriella had some form of Autism I started this blog and joined the Walk now for Autism Speaks. I have tried to educate myself on the formal diagnosis(es) and I continue to do so.
Gabriella has been diagnosed with Sever PDD and a global development delay giving her the skillset of a 6-9 month old baby. I had been preparing myself for the autistic diagnosis. I was in no way prepared for the global development delay. Especially to hear that my almost 21 month old child has skills of a baby so young.
The psychologist also told me that she has Pica. It is an eating disorder that falls in line a lot of time as a secondary issue to a disability. Gabriella cannot be formally diagnosed with Pica until the age of 2. As I told the psychologist, G has been putting things like paper, plastic, fabric, dirt, paint (yes, paint) in her mouth since she COULD do so.
They want to give Gabriella physical therapy as well, but that may have to wait until she is 2. Right now it is not a very needed thing, and the other therapies are. When she turns 2 she can be re evaluated, as they have higher standards for physical movement at that age.
So I guess now comes the hard work. I'm waiting to get all the paperwork from Early Intervention. Then we will sit down and discuss her IEP and hopefully get therapy started soon after. Eventually I will have to go to Social Security and apply for benefits as well. I'm not looking forward to that. That kind of 'seals the deal' in my eyes. I hope I am ready when that time comes.